Ever put yourself out on the limb or do something that you would probably never do... only to be disappointed? Unfortunately that seems like the story of my life. And, sadly, when that happens, it makes me far less likely to take further chances.
I don't really want to go into specifics... Let's just say I met someone I thought was nice and, turns out, that this person was not what I thought. Yes, I'm disappointed, I thought we could be friends, but now I don't think that's possible. :( It's really too bad.
I am trying not to let it bother me too much, but I can't deny that it does. I know I'll get past this eventually, but I know it will also affect me when I consider taking future steps out of my comfort zone.
This is truly unfortunate, b/c, truth be told, I realize that I really need to keep taking chances. I mean, how else will I grow as a person? Ugh, that's really corny, but I do believe that. Anyway, I know this type of thing, will probably be more of a hindrance for me- and that's the last thing I need.
So, do you believe that when women feel out of control with their life, they do something with their hair? Yes, I heard this on tv... but it so applies for me!
Tuesday, I was feeling kind of anxious, insecure, and down... I thought, I could use a change and maybe it will make me feel a little better about myself. I decided after the gym, I would go to the mall and get a haircut.
The hairstylist was really nice and she took a lot of time with my hair, but when she was finished- I wasn't crazy about it. i thought I looked matronly and that it wasnt very flattering.
By the time I got home, I still was not feeling the haircut. I took out my scissors and kept debating about doing a little cutting of my own.
I put the blade of the scissors up to my hair several times, but I kept hesitating... and stopped myself.
But, then I decided, hey, it's only hair and, what the hell, I'm going to go for it! And I did. Soon, there was a mound of hair in my bathroom sink. Holy hell, was there a LOT of hair.
And after I did it, I was like OMG! I can't believe I just did that.
I had been growng my hair out for a while and it was getting pretty long and now, well, it's quite short. The shortest I've had it in quite some time.
I spent a lot of time looking at myself and trying to figure out if I liked it or not. And I'm still not sure.
For one thing, I'm not sure it's completely even (oops), and, for another, I am worried about having to do it.
I don't think it looks horrible. To my surprise, I've actually been given a lot of compliments on it, but having to keep it in shape and style it is a real pain in the ass.
I know this seems so petty and stupid, but women are really attached to their hair... and doing this certainly proved that to me!
On that note, I'm going to try and get to sleep... I've been staying up way too late lately... but I'll try to keep you all posted more often. As always, things have been a bit crazy for me, but I am still around and I AM still reading all your blogs- you know I can't stay away! :)
BTW, Scott, thanks so much for your message- it's definitely nice to feel like someone misses you! :)