Speaking of which, I didn't post about it, but just about a week ago, I had a little mishap driving to work.
It was Monday, and I figured that b/c of that I should leave a little earlier as there seems to be more traffic and delay on my commute on that particular day of the week... Looking back on what happened, I wish I didn't bother.
Anyway, I was driving along on my way to work, simply minding my own business. I had just pulled onto the Saw Mill Parkway, making pretty good time, when something awful happens. I look over to the left, over my shoulder, at the traffic going in the opposite direction. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice something coming off the roof of one of the vans or small trucks as it's going around the curve.
Holy SHIT, it's ice! And not just a little icicle or two, but a BIG block of ice! It didn't take me long to realize that it's heading in my direction and I think, OMG, it's going to hit ME! And, of course, it does...
I must of went into shock for a minute or two- but when I come back to reality, I can't believe what just happened... or the crack that was left on my windshield. It's not just a small little crack by any means, but a large (almost) circular crack spanning from the middle of the windshield all the way towards the passenger side of my car. Not only that, but later I notice that there is more damage right under the windshield on the trim of my windshield and a small dent on the hood as well.
I didn't know whether to try and pull over or to keep going, but I opted to keep going. Frankly, there is no where to go to pull over on that parkway... so I didn't have much of a choice.
I end up getting to work on time, but by the time I get off the phone with my insurance to report the incident, it doesn't matter, I end up being late. Sometimes I just don't know why I even ever bother trying :(.
I get myself into my department, but am extremely shaken up. I had an extremely hard time getting myself together, but, somehow, I made it through the rest of the day... which I was surprised I was able to do. I wasn't sure that that would be possible, but I knew that I had to go on with the day.
Admittedly, the next night I lost it and was extremely upset. Yes, I realize that it could have been a lot worse, I could have been seriously injured, lost control of my car, or even worse (yikes!), but I still couldn't get over the fact that this had happened. And, it bothers me still!
I am so enraged that it damaged my car. I loved that car before this happened, it was perfect, and now it's simply not :-< ! Having something in such a good state, w/o being damaged in some way, just doesn't seem possible for me. There always has to be someone or something that has to ruin that for me...and I just don't get that.
Why is it that everything that I have that is good or brings me some type of pleasure has to be taken away? I can't lie that sometimes I really do feel like a black cloud is following me around... B/c this type of thing seems so unfair and ridiculous and yet it happened... and, to who else, but ME. The more I think of it the more upset and angry it makes me.
I am extremely enraged at the driver who got away with doing this to me... I know it wasn't purposeful, but b/c of that person's inconsideration and laziness at cleaning off his car properly, it has caused me a lot of anxiety and stress (not to mention inconvenience).
Unfortunately, since he was driving on the other side of the road, there was no way to get his license or any information to report him. So, in other words, he gets off scott-free! I don't like wishing bad things on people, but I truly hope that karma is a bitch and that what goes around- comes around.
And to top it all off, I am beyond enraged at the money, time, and inconvenience this all has cost me. I have spent so much time on the phone (at work, no the less) with the insurance working out the details of the accident, the arrangement of trying to get it fixed, and details involving how much it is going to cost me. Frankly, I have hard enough trouble making ends meet as is and this expense is so uncalled for and the last thing I need.
I cannot stress just how FUCKED UP that is!!!
I just want to go back in time and reverse this all from happening. I know that's not possible, but I wish there was some way.
And as a bonus, this, obviously, doesn't help my depression or anxiety issues. When people tell me to be patient and to believe that things are going to get better for me, this is part of the reason why I have such a hard time doing that. Because, whether it is a freak incident or not, I can't help but feel that only these types of things are what awaits me on my path in life. Everything seems to be a struggle or difficult in some way- and, I cannot deny that I feel like I am truly unlucky.
Today, driving home from my parents today, I came across a Guns N' Roses song on the radio. Frankly, I've never been a fan of the group, but as I was listening, I realized what a good song it is. I think the title says it all... As we all know it's definitely not my strong suit, but maybe others out there know more than I do about life in general and the future, so, saying this, I am trying.
So here's the video (which is kind of weird and brings back the whole '80s vibe), but, as I said, the song is a good one and worth a listen.